Lose Yourself
by MiaCulpa
Summary: AU.High school students,and arch enemies,Buffy and Spike are forced to get "married" by Snyder.Problem is they hate each other.Whackiness ensues.
1. Default Chapter

Lose Yourself - By Hazel  
  
I am of the opinion that very high school in the world is blessed with at least one fairy tale romance.  
  
My mother never tires of telling me about the 'Beauty and the Beast' couple whose love blossomed when she had attended high school.  
  
My own high school witnessed a kind of modern day Cinderella story. I was more a curious onlooker than active participant in the romance; nonetheless it was very much like a fairy tale. And Sunnydale High was subjected to a very complicated mixture of two fairy tales, so to speak. It was dubbed 'Goldilocks and the Big Bad', originally meant to be 'Goldilocks and the Big Bad Wolf' but the last was omitted on the request of the wolf himself, due to matters relating to 'integrity'.  
  
Once upon a time... oh heck... here goes nothing...  
  
*********************  
  
Sixth Period Lunch at Sunnydale High and Buffy Summers was having a very bad day.  
  
A very, very bad day. And it was all his fault. She wasn't even going think his name.  
  
Stupid bleached Satan that he was. Driving his girlfriend away so that she'd be free to steal her boyfriend.  
  
Buffy fumed and carefully but speedily reduced her napkin to shreds as her best friends Willow and Xander looked on in silent concern. Even Xander's normally loquacious and tactless girlfriend Cordelia, had sense enough to know that a moody Buffy was about as safe as an atomic bomb.  
  
As Buffy proceeded to take a malicious pleasure in beheading her Gummi bears, Willow, who hitherto had been facing the wrath of Buffy bravely, retreated in the comforting shelter of her boyfriend Oz's arms and Xander mentally prepared himself to save his own Gummi bears from decapitation and possible dismemberment.  
  
Suddenly as if sensing danger, Buffy looked up and groaned.  
  
So it's really true. Think of the devil and the devil appears...  
  
For walking toward the table adjacent and very close to hers was Spike Giles, her arch rival and mortal enemy.  
  
Buffy felt the rage boiling within her at the mere sight of Spike so she stared determinedly at her lunch tray trying to ignore him. She didn't want to start a fight as she was already treading on very thin ice with Principal Snyder at the moment.  
  
Please let him not say anything... please let him not say any...  
  
"Not in a good mood today are we, pet?"  
  
He was the reason Angel had left her. If he had been able to hold on to Drusilla none of this would have happened. How dare he talk to her!!  
  
That does it he's toast!!  
  
And before she knew what she was doing she had picked up a hand full of her unappetizing looking French fries and had tossed them at him.  
  
"Ahhhhhhh!! Food fight!!!" bellowed someone. And within seconds the school cafeteria looked as if had been hit by a cyclone.  
  
And as she busily hurled a slice of apple at Spike in the back of her mind Buffy knew that things could only get worse.  
  
*********************  
  
Principal Snyder was a short balding man whose resemblance to a gargoyle was uncanny.  
  
He was currently sitting at the desk in his office and engaging in a silent two way glaring match with its other two occupants, Buffy and Spike.  
  
"A lot of educators say," he began conversationally "'Think of your Principal as your friend.'"  
  
A look of relief began to spread over the faces of the two teens in front of him.  
  
He smiled vindictively  
  
"I say think of me as your judge, jury and executioner."  
  
Buffy swallowed.  
  
Spike swallowed too.  
  
Bloody bint starts a sodding food throwing marathon and I get punished. Equality, Liberty, Fraternity, my arse!  
  
He glanced at Buffy. Angry as he was he couldn't help but feel a tiny tinge of amusement at her horrified expression. She looked as if she was about to be crucified.  
  
"I fail to see the amusing side of this matter, Mr. Giles," Snyder said.  
  
Yeah well. Gargoyles aren't famous for their sense of humor.  
  
"Tell me, who do you think is the most troublesome student in the school?"  
Buffy Summers  
  
"Well it's quite a match between you two. On the one hand Spike hasn't polluted the school pool by pouring dye into the water."  
  
"It was potassium permanganate," muttered Buffy sullenly.  
  
"On the other hand Buffy has never set fire to a school building."  
  
"Well the Fire Marshall said it could have been mice," Spike offered helpfully.  
  
"Mice?"  
  
"Mice that were smoking," he defended himself.  
  
"The two of you seemed to be tied in the class cutting and fight starting events. You really are neck and neck here. It's quite exciting."  
  
Uh-oh.  
  
*********************  
  
About half an hour later the class president Riley Finn could be seen running around looking harassed as he herded all the students into the auditorium.  
  
He need not have gone to too much trouble as by now almost everyone had heard about the big fight and were speculating the subject of the punishment. An assembly in the middle of the day was not a common occurrence and every student was convinced that this assembly had been convened to make public the punishment Buffy and Spike were to face. The auditorium therefore was filled with students.  
  
"She didn't!!!"  
  
"He couldn't have!"  
  
"I heard they're going to be expelled..."  
  
"Well I heard that they're going to jail..."  
  
"You're both wrong. They're..."  
  
"Shhhhhhhhhh!! Snyder's coming!!"  
  
An unnatural hush spread over the audience as their Principal made his way to the stage.  
  
He was closely followed by the notorious pair who was still shooting daggers at each other.  
  
Snyder mounted the podium and cleared his throat.  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen," he began with a sardonic smile, "The school board feels that with the current condition of the country immediate steps have to be taken to educate you, the youth of America, about the principles of commitment and cooperation."  
  
Commitment?  
  
Co-operation?  
  
What happened to punishment?  
  
The students stared at Snyder in disbelief. Here was a perfectly good opportunity to punish his least favorite students and he was yapping about things he definitely didn't believe in.  
  
"...are embarking on the tedious journey into adulthood. You must prove yourselves to be worthwhile members of society. Keeping this in mind the school board has introduced a new and changed programme to educate you, our future..." Snyder clearly didn't look like he believed half the hokum he was spouting.  
  
Some people began to yawn.  
  
Others began to feel slightly bitter. Why get their hopes up about a row between him, Buffy and Spike if all he was going to do was babble about school spirit and adulthood?  
  
"...marriage."  
  
Marriage?  
  
Suddenly everyone pricked up their ears.  
  
"The increasing divorce rate in the country is a constant source of problems. This new educational programme is a multidisciplinary unit. In the next few weeks we are adopting this programme to educate the students of Sunnydale High about the institution of marriage. Starting now the boys have one week to 'propose' to one, I repeat, one girl of their choice. These couples will then be pronounced 'married'."  
  
Snyder smiled at the sea of confused faces before continuing, "You will all be given new timetables suit yourselves and your chosen 'spouse'. You will attend classes together, eat together, and do your homework assignments together. In short, you will behave as a civilized married couple should. Our classes have been specially modified to suit this new programme. You will be graded by your respective subject teachers on your behaviour, cooperation and chemistry. Divorces will not be granted under any circumstances. This finally brings us to the matter at hand."  
  
Everyone in the audience looked at Spike and Buffy, who were standing at either ends of the stage and alternating murderous looks at each other and Snyder.  
  
Snyder's smile widened as his voice dropped dangerously. "You all know I do not tolerate misbehaviour of any kind in my school. I am sure that you all agree with me that this time Miss Summers and Mr. Giles have gone just a bit too far. So in a bid to end their 'enmity' once and for all, I have decided that in keeping with the spirit of our little 'project' Miss Summers and Mr. Giles are 'married' as of now. And I assure you, if their 'marriage' is not successful they face... expulsion." He beamed gleefully at the happy prospect.  
  
The rest of the school sat in a shell shocked silence.  
  
On stage Buffy, red with embarrassment and humiliation was clearly wishing she could evaporate on the spot.  
  
Spike seemed to be throwing a silent tantrum, his normally pale face livid.  
  
Slowly the student body seemed to absorb the various bits of information they had received. They filed out of the auditorium in a frenzy of babble and laughter, leaving Spike and Buffy alone on the stage. 


	2. Chapter 2

Lose Yourself - By Hazel  
  
AN: You guys are too, too kind. Thanks for all the awesome reviews. I would have loved to thank each and every one of you individually but it's really impossible. Also a big thanks to Red for the lovely betaing. Read on slayer fans.  
  
*********************  
  
It was a rather rattled Scooby Gang that made their way out of the auditorium.  
  
"OK that," said Cordelia incredulously, jerking her thumb in the direction of the auditorium doors, "Did not just happen!"  
  
A worried frown creased Willow's brow and even the normally stoic Oz looked relatively shocked.  
  
Xander however, bounded energetically round the small company.  
  
"Ok, here's my theory. One of you three," he said brightly, pointing at each person in turn, "Is having a really, really weird dream. Wake up!" he added pleadingly.  
  
Cordelia stared at her boyfriend.  
  
"How do you figure it isn't you?"  
  
"'Cause I would never dream up anything this scary. I mean Buffy and Spike. I just don't have the imagination."  
  
Cordelia pondered this for a moment and then, "I think you're right. And I don't think I like the idea of being in somebody else's imagination. So whoever it is better wake up."  
  
She glared pointedly at Willow.  
  
Willow snapped out of her nebulous trance. "Wha... why me?"  
  
"It's obvious isn't it?" said Cordelia briskly. "Xander doesn't have the imagination. I, frankly, don't care enough about either Spike or Buffy to dream about them. And Oz isn't twisted enough to think this up."  
  
"Hey! I am not twisted," protested Willow. "And I am not dreaming. Am I?"  
  
The worried look replaced itself on Willow's features.  
  
"What do you mean you don't care enough about Spike," interjected Xander. "You practically started an 'I love Spike' fan club when he first moved here."  
  
"Am I dreaming? Someone pinch me," Willow said, beginning to get flustered.  
  
"You're not," Oz put in comfortingly. "She's not," he insisted to the adjacent bickering couple.  
  
"It wasn't a fan club I just..."  
  
*********************  
  
Buffy stood as if frozen, mouth agape, hands clenched into fists in mid air.  
  
Married to Spike!  
  
That went well beyond even her wildest nightmare!  
  
A soft sound reached her ears and she wheeled around to face Spike.  
  
"You're laughing! Pray tell what is funny in this situation!"  
  
"You... you think I'm laughing 'coz I'm happy?" Spike gasped in between snickers.  
  
"That is normally the conclusion one draws from laughter, yes," replied Buffy testily.  
  
"This is the laughter of a doomed man. My Da' is going to bloody murder me when he finds out I've been expelled."  
  
"We're not expelled yet. And this is all your fault anyway."  
  
Spike stopped laughing abruptly.  
  
"My fault?" he whispered dangerously. "I'm sorry. I thought you were the one who decided it's a better idea to throw food around instead of eat it!"  
  
Buffy felt the anger rise to the surface once more.  
  
God! This was so not good. She had to get away from him or they'd really end up expelled.  
  
"You came up to me and... and... said things," she called angrily over her shoulder as she practically ran toward the nearest exit.  
  
To her horror Spike began to follow her out.  
  
"Well excuse me for inquiring into your well being!" he spat, outraged.  
  
"You were needling me," sputtered Buffy as she increased her speed.  
  
"Look Summers we're..."  
  
Buffy halted and Spike almost crashed into her small frame.  
  
"Let's get one thing straight OK bleach boy? We're going to hang out with my friends as long as this stupid project lasts. If I'm going to be expelled I want to spend the last few weeks with my friends."  
  
With that she stalked up to the arguing Scoobies.  
  
"Hey guys!"  
  
"Hi Buffy. This isn't real. I've dreamed it all up," Willow said seriously.  
  
Spike, who had followed Buffy, stared at Willow.  
  
Then he turned to Buffy.  
  
"You want me to hang around with this lot? That's it. We're going to be packing by next Tuesday."  
  
*********************  
  
Home Sweet Home, thought Buffy wearily, as she closed the door behind her.  
  
She still hadn't figured out how she was going to tell her mom about the impending expulsion.  
  
Maybe she could ask her for cooking lessons and slip it in during the course of said lessons. Then her mom would be so happy that she was finally showing some interest in cookery she probably wouldn't think much of the news.  
  
Buffy shuddered. 'Mom' and 'cooking' were the two most unlikely words she could string together in a sentence. Other than 'Spike' and 'marriage' of course.  
  
"Elizabeth Anne, is that you?" came her mom's voice from the kitchen.  
  
Ignoring the sudden alarms that went off in her head that were urging her to run away as fast as she could, Buffy made her way to the kitchen.  
  
One look at her mom's face confirmed her suspicions.  
  
She knew.  
  
"I have invited William over tonight. Please behave yourself." Said Joyce, without preamble.  
  
Huh. William...? Oh... OH SPIKE!!!  
  
"But mooom.."  
  
"No buts." There was a note of quiet finality in Joyce's voice.  
  
Hmpfh!  
  
*********************  
  
An hour later found Buffy and Spike sitting as far away as possible from each other in Buffy's room.  
  
Buffy had seated herself on her bed and Spike was perched on her dressing table near the window.  
  
Buffy had tried to argue with her mother about 'showing William her room' but in vain.  
  
On Joyce's suggestions that they find something to agree on they had tried making conversation about something. Anything.  
  
Politics, sports, music, art... even the weather.  
  
Buffy hadn't thought it was possible to disagree on so many topics.  
  
She eyed Spike warily for about the six thousandth time.  
  
Spike however, had had enough.  
  
He jumped off the dressing table.  
  
"I don't know what that bloody arsehole was thinking when he teamed us together!" he groused as he reached for the doorknob.  
  
"Asshole is right," Buffy murmured as Joyce bustled into the room.  
  
"And how is everything going," she inquired brightly.  
  
"I'm sorry Mrs. Summers but we just can't agree on anything. Snyder is a git and we're never going to get along," said Spike indicating Buffy and then himself.  
  
"Yeah mom. We're never going to make this work. God knows what Snyder was thinking when he paired us together. Bastard."  
  
"What did you say about Mr. Snyder, Buffy?" asked Joyce with an innocent smile.  
  
"Bastard," muttered Buffy stubbornly.  
  
"And you William?"  
  
"Bloody git," said Spike obligingly.  
  
"I think you've found something to agree on," Joyce smiled serenely.  
  
Spike and Buffy stared after her in amazement.  
  
This is too much. Being allowed to have boys in my room and being encouraged to swear all in one night.  
  
Buffy sighed in defeat.  
  
She'd never figure out her mom. 


	3. Chapter 3

Yay me! Chapter 3! Enjoy! And please check out 'Life As Buffy Summers'. It's vague but mmmmmm UST goodness coming up! I might withhold the next chapter of 'Lose Yourself' if I don't get enough reviews (flames or positive feedback)  
  
********************  
  
'So that Snyder really is a twisted old loony, isn't he?' Spike began tentatively, after about fifteen minutes of tense silence.  
  
'Yep', Buffy replied, disinterested.  
  
'Got us into a right fix, he did'.  
  
'Yep'.  
  
'Probably gone round the twist, pairing us up together'.  
  
'Yep'.  
  
'Look Summers, could you at least try to cooperate here? Feel like I'm talking to a sodding Buffybot. What happened to the 'we're not expelled yet' speech you gave me in the auditorium?'  
  
'That was Insane-I-think-I-can-make-a-marriage-to-Spike Giles-work Buffy. This is Reality-checked-Buffy.'  
  
'Well, bloody fine then,' exploded Spike at the end of his tether. 'If the Insane-watchamacallit-Buffy takes possession of your schizophrenic little mind tell her to *not* give me a call.'  
  
And with that he stalked out of the room, down the stairs and out of the house, slamming the front door for good measure.  
  
Buffy just sat stunned, staring open mouthed at her room door. *Who the hell does he think he is walking out on me?*  
  
Just then Joyce appeared in the doorway. 'Honey, did you have a fight with your husband?'  
  
************  
  
To say that Willow was worried would be an understatement.  
  
She had just received a disturbing phone call from Buffy and was seriously considering signing her up for some anger management classes. So she had done the only thing she could think of. She had called Xander.  
  
Which, as it turns out, was not one of her best ideas.  
  
'So Buffy and Spike are at loggerheads, huh? Must be a mighty cold day in hell.'  
  
'Xander!'  
  
'I'm just saying.it's not like it's highly unusual for those two to be trying to disembowel each other using blunt objects found in a kitchen'.  
  
'Xander.'  
  
'Yeah?'  
  
'Imagery'.  
  
'Right.'  
  
'I don't think she's ever made so little sense. You know Angry-Buffy is Babbling-Buffy and.'  
  
'Because *you* never babble,' Xander snorted. 'I'm sticking to my PMS theory.'  
  
'Xander!' Willow was getting a little frustrated at her friend.  
  
'Yeah?'  
  
'Trying to make a point here.'  
  
'Ah yes! PMS ridden Buffys are prone to decapitating your Gummi bears!' Xander sounded tickled.  
  
'What does that even mean?'  
  
'It means protect your Gummis when Buffy shows up with a knife. Or fork. Or any kitchen implement.'  
  
A muffled sound of some sort at the end of the line announced either Willow's disapproval or amusement.  
  
'I'm serious! Nobody likes a headless Gummi. That way lies much trauma and many nightmares.'  
  
'Xander, could you focus, please?'  
  
'OK OK. Hold on I'm getting another phone call'  
  
Across town Xander pressed the little red button on his phone that allowed him to take waiting calls.  
  
'Hello.?"  
  
'Xander!'  
  
'Cordy?' You're calling me on the *phone*?'  
  
He stared incredulously at the Scooby-doo handset in he was holding. Never, since they had begun dating, had his haughty girlfriend called him on the phone. He gingerly held the phone back to his ear not knowing if it was a good sign or a bad one.  
  
'Of course I'm calling you on the phone. I'm your wife! I think it's legal for me to call my husband if I want to!'  
  
Xander was sure he wouldn't have been able to contain the groan if he tried. Ever since he had 'proposed' to Cordelia during lunch, she hadn't been able shut up about some wedding shower she wanted 'Daddy' to throw her.  
  
Full-grown men cowered at the mere mention of 'marriage'. And Xander was all of eighteen. One can imagine his state of mind.  
  
'.and have a cake too! With a little bride and groom on top! And I could wear my new designer.'  
  
Xander quietly pressed the button that allowed him to have a conversation with Willow. Unaware that she was on hold, Cordelia prattled on.  
  
'So Wills, we were discussing the behaviour of PMS ridden Buffy.'  
  
'Xander! Who was on the other line anyway?'  
  
'Ah! That would be the current Mrs Xander Harris.'  
  
'Bugging the hell outta you huh?'  
  
'She is attractive and has many good qualities,' Xander said doggedly.  
  
Willow made a rude noise in the back of her throat. Buffy's bad temper seemed to be rubbing off on her.  
  
Xander rolled over on his bed and accidentally hit the phone button that reconnected his to his new wife ('..and of course I said no, coz it's going to be a *private* party)  
  
'Are you sure *you* don't have PMS,' Xander inquired, still under the impression he was talking to Willow.  
  
'WHAT!'  
  
'Huh? Cordy!'  
  
A word of caution gentle readers. People make movies about the telephone. Horror movies. Conclusion: it is a strange and dangerous invention. Use it well!  
  
*******  
  
Joyce and Buffy sat in the living room facing each other each with her respective 'resolve faces' firmly in place.  
  
'Really, Buffy if you act so immature you might be looking at a divorce!'  
  
Buffy groaned and put her head in her hands.  
  
'It's not real, mom! There can't be a divorce without a marriage and There- Is-No-Marriage!' Buffy ground out each word slowly and carefully.  
  
'Well, you're *very* lucky there isn't. William is being infinitely patient and I don't see you making even the smallest effort to get over this absurdly childish dislike you have for him.'  
  
'I don't *dislike* him', Buffy corrected her mother ', I *hate* him.'  
  
'Don't be rude to your mother, dear,' Joyce said absently, now staring at a spot above Buffy's head with a gleam in her eye.  
  
'You know, I think it's time for a little parental intervention'.  
  
Buffy's eyes widened to twice their normal size. She leapt out of her seat. 'What! No! Mom! We can handle this! No parents! O-or Intervention!'  
  
'With an expulsion hanging over your head Buffy! No. It is definitely time I spoke to Mr Giles. Come on'  
  
Joyce got up and walked briskly to the coat rack.  
  
Buffy stayed put and looked blankly at her mother. 'Come where? Where are you going mom?'  
  
'*We're* going to the Giles', Buffy,' in a tone that was seemingly cheerful but brooked no argument.  
  
Buffy blinked. '.My life sucks.'  
  
'What was that, honey?'  
  
'I said "I like ducks,"' Buffy gabbled hurriedly, not keen on having a fight with her mother at such a critical stage.  
  
'That's nice, dear. Let's go now'.  
  
Buffy walked out to the car and got in. Sulkily. Ten minutes later Spike's mood was (also) considerably blackened due to the presence of his wife in his house.  
  
*****************  
  
The Giles' house was like any average suburban American house.  
  
This somewhat surprised Buffy, considering the Mr Giles was as British as it was possible to be. She took an instant liking to him and wondered how someone so *mild* had fathered the spawn of Satan. At that thought she shot said spawn a dirty look. Spike, sprawled on the couch, just smirked at her. This infuriated Buffy further.  
  
Unfortunately Buffy's mother also seemed to have taken a liking to Mr Giles.  
  
'Ohh.Rupert!'  
  
'Yes, Joyce it was hard but.'  
  
'I *completely* understand, Rupert. When it was time for me to have the *sex* talk with Buffy,' (at this Buffy hid her flaming face in her hands as Spike's smirk widened),' I was so nervous. I mean I had to explain to a fifteen-year-old about sexual intercourse and protection.'  
  
'Yes,' interjected Giles, eyes sparkling with enthusiasm,' I stressed on the protection bit, too. With all the sexually transmitted diseases going around these days it is always wise to carry a few condoms around. In fact I see to it that William does not leave the house without a few.'  
  
'Daaa,' Spike protested in embarrassment as Buffy lifted her head and gave him an amused grin. Spike stuck his tongue out at her.  
  
So caught up were they in their silent fight that they almost didn't hear Giles invite Joyce out for dinner. Before they had time to react Joyce had trilled them a cheery 'Behave yourselves kids' The next minute their respective parents were out of the house while they were left staring flabbergasted at the door.  
  
'Did you see the googly eyes they were makin' at each other?' Spike asked of Buffy.  
  
She nodded. 'Waaaay wiggy'.  
  
They stared at the door for a few more seconds.  
  
'So,' Spike started, smirk back in place, 'fifteen, huh?'  
  
'Don't start with me, condom boy.'  
  
******************* 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N  
  
RL seems to realize I want to spend time in the virtual world so it sends traumatic stuff to bite my ample derriere namely college mid terms and computers that break down as soon as break starts. Bear with me.  
  
On a side note stuff inside the stars means someone is thinking, for example *this is a thought*. Though sometimes I put a single word into stars to *emphasize* stuff.  
  
This chapter picks up on the same night as the other on left off. If that made any sense...  
  
She was limp from their last argument and was lying bored and boneless on the Giles' living room sofa. After their parents had left they had spent some time sitting together, getting along, being agreeable, and even teasing each other a little. She had been surprised at how much she enjoyed his company when he was civil...maybe enjoyed was too strong a word. Tolerated? Yeah, that worked. She tolerated him.  
  
Of course when it came to them good things never lasted (Was enjo.....tolerating Spike a good thing?) She had made a small comment on how their parents' flirting could probably pass for foreplay and any and all of his good humour had disappeared. They'd had a long, and admittedly pointless, fight and he had stormed up to his room and slammed the door hard. Rude much?? Very much. She had expected loud music to blare from within after that but after distinct sounds of him pacing everything was quiet.  
  
*'P'. Well, that's easy. 'P' is for prick, pervert, pig, poophead, poo....Hee! Poo.* She sighed at herself. *The power of your charms Spike. You bring out the four year old in me* She scowled up at the ceiling as if expecting Spike to stick his head through it and retort. Ok, so all wasn't quiet in her head but that was a given. *'Q'...is for...How about that. Nothing with 'Q'. Ok 'R' is for rude, ratfink.....*  
  
Suddenly Buffy's thigh began to vibrate of its own accord putting a halt to her fascinating mind game. 'Huh?'  
  
She felt around in her jeans' pocket and extricated a small glittery blue cell phone. There was an instant message registered on the screen. She pressed the 'view' button and it popped into sight.  
  
'Hungry?'  
  
One word. One word after a giant quarrel. As if it had meant nothing. As if it hadn't mattered.  
  
She smiled.  
  
*'R' is for receptive, responsive.......*  
  
A few hours later Joyce and Giles broke out of their embrace outside his residence. The house was suspiciously silent.  
  
'You don't think they've killed each other do you, Rupert?' Joyce asked lightly. In reply Giles opened the door and they walked into the living room.  
  
The obvious remains of some sort of snack littered the coffee table. Buffy and Spike were sitting at either end of the sofa not talking or even looking at each other. Both were apparently playing on their respective cell phones, small smiles on their faces.  
  
'Well, they're sitting peacefully, in the same time zone, I'd venture that's progress,' whispered Giles.  
  
Spike strolled unhurriedly through the corridors of Sunnydale High a good twenty minutes after the warning bell had gone. It just wasn't done for a bad ass to be punctual.  
  
There was a lightness about his gait that suggested his mood was pleasanter than it had been for a long time. For the first time he felt his union to Buffy Summers had even a tiny bit of potential to be a success. Evading an expulsion is always a cause for cheerfulness for most people and Spike was no exception.  
  
Deciding, in his good mood, to make an appearance in class he headed for the Math classroom to look in on Buffy.  
  
They had overcome an obstacle last night. Communication was possible, if only through the short message service their cell phones provided. He supposed that in time they would graduate to talking on the phone and then to each other face to face. He acknowledged she could grow on you once you were successful in getting her to stop hurling insults and/or other more tangible objects at you. Ok, so maybe he was developing a soft spot for her. Didn't mean anything.  
  
He turned a corner and spied the subject of his thoughts standing outside the Math room. Something struck him as being off. Why stand outside when you could be sitting inside enjoying an early morning Math lecture by the fascinating Mr Worthing? She looked up annoyance plain on her face one foot tapping out a dangerous staccato. Spike decided not to let that bother him. He was in a good mood after a long time and he wouldn't let her spoil that for him damnit!  
  
'Sup, pet?' He stopped in front of her and peered into the classroom in which couples were sitting together, heads bent over their work.  
  
'Why aren't you inside?'  
  
She held up a rigid finger. 'One, I am neither a dog nor a cat so don't call me "pet".' She held up another finger. 'Two, he won't let *me* in because you're late. Three,' she continued holding up a third finger,'you are an ass.'  
  
Spike grinned at her last statement. 'Maybe you should kiss me, then.' He grabbed the hand she still held up and planted a small kiss on it, watching in amusement as her eyes widened. 'Come on'. He pulled her into class and settled into an empty seat drawing her down into the one beside them.  
  
Mr Worthing cleared his throat.  
  
'I am so glad you could join us Mr and Mrs Giles.'  
  
Beside him Spike felt Buffy flinch at the teacher's chosen form of addressing them. He smiled at Mr Worthing.  
  
'Our pleasure. Glad to oblige'  
  
There were a few snickers from around them and Mr Worthing cleared his throat again. 'We have all been informed of the special circumstances your marriage has taken place under and I am glad that our esteemed principal,' (Spike snorted and Buffy elbowed him warningly),'will receive all my help in his efforts to discipline you two. Is that clear?'  
  
Spike opened his mouth to say something smart aleck-y and rude, he was sure, when Buffy glared at him and answered Mr Worthing sweetly. 'Crystal'.  
  
'Then by no means let me stop you from working. The assignment is on the board. Remember this is meant to be team work'.  
  
Spike glanced at the board.  
  
"Form a budget for one month for your respective spouse, yourself and one child. It should be realistic, taking into account your chosen carrier, expenses, luxuries etc."  
  
'Well. Should be easy enough.' He turned to Buffy who looked askance at him.  
  
'I tell you, Rock Star is not a listed carrier!' Buffy hissed fifteen minutes later, rifling through the booklet on carriers the students had been given on the previous day.  
  
'But musician is listed isn't it, genius?' Spike retorted, staring in confusion at the mass of calculations in her notebook.  
  
'What's this?' He pointed at something in her notebook. 'Money for building a private skating rink in the basement! Do you know how much that would cost? It's certainly not going to be...,' he peered at the book again,' ten thousand dollars! Even a decent house doesn't come for ten thou!'  
  
Buffy continued going through her booklet as she replied,' Ice skating rink.'  
  
'What?'  
  
'Not skating rink, ice skating rink.'  
  
'Oh good because that makes it a whole lot cheaper.'  
  
'Hey, I wasn't the one who wanted to,' she glanced at his book,' put aside the baby's money for an electric guitar.'  
  
'We're not having a baby. How do you know we'll have a baby? The rate we're going at we're probably gonna be sleeping in different rooms! No sex equals no babies.'  
  
'Congratulations Mr and Mrs Giles! It's a boy!' The Home Ec teacher Mrs Kendall trilled, placing an egg with a blue sticker into Buffy's outstretched hands.  
  
'You still gonna be buying that guitar Big Papa?' Buffy smirked.  
  
Spike looked at the egg and swallowed.  
  
Then he leered at Buffy. 'I guess this means no separate bedrooms, huh?'  
  
'You will be working together, of course. But you will also have to write one individual essay for the end of the project stating a few things you don't like about your partner and how you tried to change one of them. Yes Willow?'  
  
'But Mr Williams, what if we can't find anything wrong with our partner,' Willow questioned the English teacher, glancing shyly at Oz.  
  
Both Buffy and Spike snorted at that and looked each other up and down, brows raised.  
  
French class was about as fruitful as the other periods had been.  
  
The French teacher, Mrs Hall, had set them a composition. They were to write about their first meeting. Spike was trying his level best to coax some French into Buffy's head before they began their assignment.  
  
'Tu', Buffy consulted her French text book and continued,' n'es pas un stylo vert.  
  
Spike sighed. 'For the fifth time woman, I *know* I'm not a green pen!' he snarled through gritted teeth. 'Do you know any French at all?'  
  
Buffy looked insulted, 'Of course I do!' she sputtered. As if to demonstrate her linguistic skills she raised her voice a bit and said, 'Voulez vous couchez avec moi! She was so obviously clueless about the meaning  
  
Angel, sitting beside Drusilla, let out a whistle and called, 'Yeah, baby.'  
  
Spike's eyes twinkled as he looked at Buffy. 'Definitely, luv. But not now.'  
  
A couple more people let out catcalls at Spike's words.  
  
The entire class was held up for fifteen minutes as Mrs Hall lectured them.  
  
When the bell went for lunch the despondent couple trudged morosely toward the lunch room. It hadn't been a happy day for them. Each and every teacher had spent large portions of their classes going on about how they would be punished if they did not behave. During the intervals between periods they had been pointed at and whispered about. Each passing period progressively blackened their moods. Any breakthrough the previous day had caused was drowned.  
  
*One step forward and four behind* thought Spike.  
  
'I s'pose we have to eat together too.'  
  
'Yeah,' sighed Buffy as she struggled to keep up with him through the swarm of students.  
  
Spike put out his hand and wrapped it around her small wrist, leading her through the crowded halls. She let him.  
  
*Well. Maybe not +four+ backward*  
  
A/N  
  
What do you guys think? Because I'm open to criticism and I'm really surprised there's none. Anything you don't like (or like) tell me.  
  
Thanks for reading. I'll try to get more up soon.  
  
Review! 


	5. Interlude 1

Interlude  
  
*M&m's, Kit-kat, gummi-bears........Ah*  
  
Spike grinned like, well, a little kid in a candy store as he grabbed a  
bag of Hershey's kisses of the rack and threw them into his shopping  
cart. Which was looking rather empty, come to think of it. He frowned at  
the solitary packet in the cart. Then reached for a couple more bags of  
kisses and dropped them in.  
  
Much better.  
He grinned goofily again, completely unaware that this ritual was  
somewhat similar to that followed by one Xander Harris every Tuesday.  
Boys will be boys, after all, no matter how grown up they might feel.  
  
Satisfied Spike headed to the counter to make his sinful purchase.  
A flash of pink and gold caught his attention as he walked past the  
magazine rack.  
  
Buffy.  
  
Her back was turned toward him and she was arguing amicably with her  
little red - haired friend over some trivial article.  
  
An unexpected feeling of warmth washed over him as he watched them- her.  
His heartbeat grew slightly excited, making him frown once more, and his  
knees weakened somewhat as his cheeks heated up.  
  
Puzzled, he decided to stop at the pharmacy and buy a thermometer on his  
way home.  
  
*****************  
  
Lateness is due to a combination of laziness, exam ness, coldness and  
lovesickness which has consequently lead to a lot of confusion (ness?)  
and complication in my life. So basically, to sum up in a word I'm late  
due to _drum roll_ College!  
  
PS- I want to dedicate a chapter to Miss Kitty because her reviews really  
make me laugh. But this is too small a chapter so the next one is  
dedicated to her. Go Miss Kitty! 


End file.
